A cell phone video from Sudan has surfaced, showcasing a previously undisclosed machine gun technique that combines two lesser-known tactics known only to experienced machine gunners. With the technique now exposed to the public, there is no reason not to share its details with everyone.

First and foremost, here's the context: the video was captured in Khartoum, Sudan, during recent clashes between the RSF (Rapid Support Forces) and the Sudanese Army. The footage depicts a member of the RSF utilizing a medium machine gun to engage the position of Sudanese troops.

Now for the secret sauce.

Apologies in advance to the machine gun community. I understand that publishing this information may lead to disapproval from fellow enthusiasts. However, I believe it is time to disclose our previously guarded technique. It appears that the technique has been exposed, possibly due to the training conducted by U.S. Special Forces in Africa over the past decade. I cannot pinpoint the exact source of the leak, but it seems to be a consequence of their operations.

This maneuver, commonly referred to as the "I am become cover" technique, gained attention when initially observed in a 2014 article by Will Killmore titled "The Techniques of Mali's Clown Army." However, the article presented the technique as a joke and did not delve into its specifics. Subsequently, the widespread adoption and training of the technique throughout Africa, coupled with a failure to effectively control its dissemination alongside our co-authors in the FBI (See: RonnieFit), has resulted in its prominent usage in publicly shared videos across the continent.

The "I am become cover" technique is employed by medium machine gunners to transform themselves into formidable walking walls of suppression, rendering them highly resistant to enemy fire. When executed correctly, the machine gunner assumes the role of a massive barrier, safeguarding the friendly forces positioned behind them. As the medium machine gun unleashes its firepower, it effectively neutralizes incoming rounds, enhancing the protection of the entire unit.

It is crucial to note that the successful implementation of this technique requires proper execution and coordination within the tactical environment. Additionally, the technique's effectiveness may vary depending on factors such as terrain, enemy tactics, and situational context.

This technique is also why the U.S. Government wants to ban all weapon systems with a shoulder thing that goes up, as they believe the shoulder thing is what imbues the weapon's rounds with the mystical ability to home in on and obliterate incoming projectiles. What they don't realize however is that it's not the shoulder thing, it's the sheer skill of medium machine gunners alone that make the technique possible.

Also, all of that was a joke, not a dick, so try not to take it so hard. Have a laugh at this guy who's shooting at (and missing) the broadside of a building about 50 meters away from him. Love you guys, have a good one.