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How Generals Will Avoid Resignation and Write Themselves Medals for Afghanistan

Published Aug. 28, 2021

A lot of tactical ground commanders and air logisticians are doing insane work in Afghanistan right now. Generals will use their amazing work to once again avoid the consequences of their actions.


Two things are concurrently happening on the ground and in the air of Afghanistan right now. Troops on the deck are providing as much security as humanely possible while simultaneously searching thousands of people every single day, and in the air, logistical operations are happening at a cyclic rate that is pushing flight operations from the 8th Expeditionary Air Mobility Squadron to work non-stop 12 hour shifts. These two things combined, from commanders at the 0-6 and below level, are the sole reason for what is now being called one of the world's largest air evacuations in the history of mankind.


Guess who gets the credit for these successes, and all of the hard work. I can tell you now, unequivocally, the success of these troops on the deck who are risking life and limb and working twelve hour shifts will, at the absolute most, find themselves wearing a shiny new meritorious unit citation. if they're lucky, Biden himself might put MASH on pause long enough to approve a fancy new Presidential Unit Citation written by one of his aides. Nope. The troops in the video above will barely be recognized at all.


Instead, in spite of the massive failures, Generals and Politicians will stand on their backs and tout how amazing they are for organizing everything. Granted, all they've actually done so far is make an absolute shit-show out of everything by closing the defensible airbase that could handle multiple departures and arrivals at the same time in a relatively safe location. That doesn't matter though. They are already holding up their new boogeyman in IS-KP, and claiming to have hit them with airstrikes.


Here's another interesting factoid. Every airstrike is recorded. I have access to that feed of airstrikes. That's why I'm able to do things like beat CNN to the MOAB Strike against IS-KP in 2017. That's how I'm able to find airstrike footage from 2009 and share it with you here on Funker530. That alleged airstrike footage has miraculously not been released yet, even though the MOAB mix-tape dropped something like eight hours after the warhead landed on IS-KP foreheads. Maybe it just hasn't clear OPSEC yet.


Here's another interesting thing to think about. Where did we get the actionable intelligence to drop munitions on IS-KP? I'm pretty sure that we're well on the way to a goose egg for troop presence, and the current troop presence is entirely localized at the Hamid Karzai International Airport in Kabul. Maybe the Taliban are the new special operations arm of the Department of Defense, and our fearless leaders just haven't filled us in on their new position as the premiere SOF group on the ground in Afghanistan.


Oh, and one more thing. How exactly did we conduct the battle damage assessment on this target package? It must have been that premiere Taliban SOF unit we just recently stood up with an $85 billion dollar equipment stimulation package, right? Right. That's probably what it was. Gotta love those stimmy drops, they're really amazing.


No. At the end of the day, the only commander to be relieved of his position for the absolute shit-show of Afghanistan is the Battalion Commander of Advanced Infantry Training Battalion East in North Carolina, because he asked hard questions in a public forum where he knew that he could force his request mast papers to be seen by everyone.


Mark my words. In the backrooms of the Pentagon, right now as we speak, Generals are writing themselves up for the minimum of a Bronze Star for overseeing one of the largest air evacuations in history. They're distracting and deflecting blame for their failures and getting the public to look at the IS-KP boogeyman that we killed three years with two ODA teams and our Afghan Allies, while simultaneously abandoning those Afghan Allies, and forcing American Veterans to form an underground railroad to get their friends in Afghanistan to safety. "But, seriously guys. We struck IS-KP with a drone, and conducted one of the largest air evacuations in history. We're heroes. Right?"


Do not fall for the bait. The IS-KP boogetyman may exist, but they are far from the largest problem plaguing the United States of America today. Let's reward the tactical air and ground level troops for a job well done with an absolute lack of leadership, and hold accountable the leaders who have spent more time writing themselves medals than actually leading the Global War on Terror. The leaders certainly won't hold themselves accountable, and are already actively trying to deflect the blame for their shortcomings.


josh brooks

Published Aug. 28, 2021

A lot of tactical ground commanders and air logisticians are doing insane work in Afghanistan right now. Generals will use their amazing work to once again avoid the consequences of their actions.


Two things are concurrently happening on the ground and in the air of Afghanistan right now. Troops on the deck are providing as much security as humanely possible while simultaneously searching thousands of people every single day, and in the air, logistical operations are happening at a cyclic rate that is pushing flight operations from the 8th Expeditionary Air Mobility Squadron to work non-stop 12 hour shifts. These two things combined, from commanders at the 0-6 and below level, are the sole reason for what is now being called one of the world's largest air evacuations in the history of mankind.


Guess who gets the credit for these successes, and all of the hard work. I can tell you now, unequivocally, the success of these troops on the deck who are risking life and limb and working twelve hour shifts will, at the absolute most, find themselves wearing a shiny new meritorious unit citation. if they're lucky, Biden himself might put MASH on pause long enough to approve a fancy new Presidential Unit Citation written by one of his aides. Nope. The troops in the video above will barely be recognized at all.


Instead, in spite of the massive failures, Generals and Politicians will stand on their backs and tout how amazing they are for organizing everything. Granted, all they've actually done so far is make an absolute shit-show out of everything by closing the defensible airbase that could handle multiple departures and arrivals at the same time in a relatively safe location. That doesn't matter though. They are already holding up their new boogeyman in IS-KP, and claiming to have hit them with airstrikes.


Here's another interesting factoid. Every airstrike is recorded. I have access to that feed of airstrikes. That's why I'm able to do things like beat CNN to the MOAB Strike against IS-KP in 2017. That's how I'm able to find airstrike footage from 2009 and share it with you here on Funker530. That alleged airstrike footage has miraculously not been released yet, even though the MOAB mix-tape dropped something like eight hours after the warhead landed on IS-KP foreheads. Maybe it just hasn't clear OPSEC yet.


Here's another interesting thing to think about. Where did we get the actionable intelligence to drop munitions on IS-KP? I'm pretty sure that we're well on the way to a goose egg for troop presence, and the current troop presence is entirely localized at the Hamid Karzai International Airport in Kabul. Maybe the Taliban are the new special operations arm of the Department of Defense, and our fearless leaders just haven't filled us in on their new position as the premiere SOF group on the ground in Afghanistan.


Oh, and one more thing. How exactly did we conduct the battle damage assessment on this target package? It must have been that premiere Taliban SOF unit we just recently stood up with an $85 billion dollar equipment stimulation package, right? Right. That's probably what it was. Gotta love those stimmy drops, they're really amazing.


No. At the end of the day, the only commander to be relieved of his position for the absolute shit-show of Afghanistan is the Battalion Commander of Advanced Infantry Training Battalion East in North Carolina, because he asked hard questions in a public forum where he knew that he could force his request mast papers to be seen by everyone.


Mark my words. In the backrooms of the Pentagon, right now as we speak, Generals are writing themselves up for the minimum of a Bronze Star for overseeing one of the largest air evacuations in history. They're distracting and deflecting blame for their failures and getting the public to look at the IS-KP boogeyman that we killed three years with two ODA teams and our Afghan Allies, while simultaneously abandoning those Afghan Allies, and forcing American Veterans to form an underground railroad to get their friends in Afghanistan to safety. "But, seriously guys. We struck IS-KP with a drone, and conducted one of the largest air evacuations in history. We're heroes. Right?"


Do not fall for the bait. The IS-KP boogetyman may exist, but they are far from the largest problem plaguing the United States of America today. Let's reward the tactical air and ground level troops for a job well done with an absolute lack of leadership, and hold accountable the leaders who have spent more time writing themselves medals than actually leading the Global War on Terror. The leaders certainly won't hold themselves accountable, and are already actively trying to deflect the blame for their shortcomings.


josh brooks

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